The Most Powerful Communities Are Built on Something None of Us Asked For
I’ve been building communities for 17 years. I’ve seen passion, purpose, and connection drive people together in incredible ways. But nothing prepared me for the communities I encountered after being diagnosed with colorectal cancer.
The cancer community is unlike any I’ve ever seen.
From a distance, the numbers are staggering. Engagement rates soar beyond industry benchmarks. Growth happens without ad spend. New members arrive daily, and advocates rise organically—without being asked. People come not just to participate, but to serve. To give. To carry others.
It’s the kind of community any strategist would dream of—until you understand what it’s made of.
Because nobody joins this community by choice. We come together around a shared purpose, but it’s not one we chose. Cancer gives you no option but to find others who understand. And when you do, the bond is immediate, and deep. This community offers knowledge. It offers support. It offers hope. It connects people who will never meet in person but who will leave a permanent imprint on one another’s lives.
But there’s something else that sets this community apart: attrition here doesn’t come from disengagement. It comes from death.
In most communities, people drift away when they no longer need the space. In cancer communities, we lose people we’ve grown close to—often daily. And each loss isn’t just a name or a number. It’s a friend. A lifeline. A mentor. A fellow fighter.
It’s gutting. It leaves scars. It takes a toll on the mental health of everyone who remains. But even in the face of this relentless grief, people stay. They show up. They carry on—not in spite of the pain, but because of the love behind it.
Trevor Maxwell, founder of MAN UP TO CANCER, said it best: “The pain of losing someone is only eclipsed by the joy we had from knowing them.”
That line has helped me process loss in a way I never could before. But the truth is, it still stings—every single time.
And yet, this is still one of the most meaningful communities you could ever belong to.
You hope you never have to. But if you do—you’ll never feel alone again.